Dear Camilla

Dear Camilla,
I wasn't sure I was meant to be a mum. Even once I was pregnant with you, I couldn't visualise the next stage.
Then you arrived. I wasn't overcome with a maternal instinct like so many people said I would have. You didn't even feel like mine. I was anxious, excited and in disbelief.
Fast forward a day or so and I started to realise you were actually mine, and I was actually yours. On day 3 we had a full day alone, and I started to really, truly bond with you.
Fast forward a week or so and we started to find our feet. I started to become confident in making decisions that affected you. I spent way too much time just staring at you. We have a great little life together, you and me.
Fast forward a month or so and I love you so much it hurts. I actually miss you when you sleep (but geez do I need that break). You challenge me deeply. I love to have a plan, and you have made me change those plans so many times already. I love to know what's coming next, and you like to throw curb balls. You've changed me life, in the best possible way.
All of my heart loves all of your heart, Millie Moo.
Love from your mummy xxx 

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